Why don't you point at me? (english version)
by RG1998
Summary: Cartman admits he's gay, and he's angry because nobody driscriminates him. In a desperate attempt for being called a freak at least once, he finds out that Kyle likes boys too, and he can't say it because his family. This bring them closer... too much closer. Warning: Kyman, of course.
1. Chapter 1

**Well, I don't know what this thing came from. Cartman being gay and angry because nobody bothers him about that, had always been a head-canon of mine. I just needed let it go. My first languange is spanish, so I don't have an idea about how bad this shit could be. My english is really bad. So, forgive me for all my grammar mistakes, I'm not good with this languange. Sooo, I hope you like it ^_^**

* * *

Accept it hadn't been easy. He felt like he'd always have knew it, thought. He'd never been particularly interesed in girls. When Wendy kissed him, it was like when that distant aunt that you never see kiss your cheek and leaves you that lipstick mark, just that it was in the mouth. Twice the gross. In fact, the real deception about it, was that from it, he started to find out that girls didn't capted his attention. But this was unacceptable, so he had to search another way to reafirm his heterosexuallity. During the childhood it had to be reversible, wasn't it? So he took his school's yearbook, started to passing leaves quickly, closed his eyes, and placed his point finger on whatever place of whatever sheet. The random indicated was Patty Nelson. He'd have to convice himself that he was in love with her. And he succeeded it. So much so, that when he couldn't control what he said, he admitted that he loved her in secret.

Sadly, all changed when it wasn't something platonic anymore. When they were twelve, as the last option, he had his chance. Patty wanted a boyfriend, no matter who, and he was in the right place, at the right moment. He had his first, no-robbed, kiss. With a girl. With a girl with really thin and dry lips. Gross. Somebody took his hand for the first time too. Patty's hands was warm. Uncomfortably warm. It seems like he was melting in the wrong way, and when they loosed their hands, he had sticky fingers. Sometimes, when they walked together, she holded his arm in a nearly parasitically. Generally, she did it with such a force, that his elbow was exactly between her breasts. He didn't like that. Luckily, that didn't lasted too much. Patty was tired of feel that she sicked him (even if that was true), and she leaved him. He didn't felt bad. He nearly felt relieved.

And his last approach to women was when he was fourteen, when Kenny showed him a movie from his colection. Porn, obviously. As what he wanted was convice himself that he liked girls, and look at an actor with a big 'artistic talent' wasn't going to help, he asked for a lesbian movie. If he didn't like the opposite sex too much, see a real vagina, and not a anatomy book scheme shed his last heterosexual desire drop. He needed to focus on anything else so he couldn't watch what was happened on the screen. The blond masturbating himself beside him was the first thing that he could find. Serious mistake. He'd shouldn't been watching something that wasn't the beautiful actresses. Much less that. Much less with a hard on. He'd faked to feel bad and got out.

He tried to keep out the romantic and sexual field. If he didn't let anyone approach to him in that way, maybe he wouldn't start to like girls, but he wouldn't 'become gay' either. But he was fifteen already. You just can't keep away from that kind of things forever. Unless you're a hermit who lives without connection with the out-doors world. So he had to clarify his ideas. As time gone by, he'd found out that he liked boys. He'd tried to deny it, searching for excuses to explain himself why he looked at his classmates in the showers. And a day, he thought: "Well, I'm cool, so if I'm gay, to being gay is cool". He maintained that idea on his head until he believed it. Just as he conviced himself that he liked Patty Nelson. He'd hadn't nothing to worry about anymore.

* * *

"Mom, can we talk?", he said an afternoon, while he entered to his house after school.

"Of course, sweetie. What is it?", Liane answered.

"You see... This is hard. I found out that... Well, I don't like women. It could mean that I like men. It could mean that I'm gay. You know, that kind of boys that likes another boys. I'm gay. That's it".

"I'm glad you admit it, honey".

"W-wait. Just that? You don't think that I'm confused?"

"No. I'd noticed it a long time ago".

"What?"

"I knew it since you were a child. You were very obsessed with your friend Kyle sucking your balls. And then Patty... It was obvious that you'd never been really interesed on her".

"It wasn't so obvious".

"It was".

"No, it wasn't. And I wasn't obssesed with that stupid jew sucking my balls".

"You took that to the justice".

"A bet is a bet! We had a contract and he wasn't doing his part. That's illegal, you know?"

"I know, but I'm not saying that. And that picture with Butters..."

"I fell with my mouth opened!"

"You were smiling for the camera".

"I remembered something funny!"

"Your thumb was up".

"W-well... That's not the point!"

"I'm sorry then, but I found it out before. And congratulations because your brave. I know that is really complicated to recognize something like that, and..."

"Bullshit! It's not complicated, it's simple. I'm going to search for someones that cares about me being sick".

"But you're not sick, Eric".

"I know that! That's what that fucking homophobics thinks. Damn it, five minutes out of closet and I already feel discriminated". He opened the principal door again and leaved.

* * *

Kyle, Kenny and Stan was playing videogames in the living room of the last's house, when the doorbell rang.

"It's opened!", the house-owner screamed.

Cartman walked in, visibly angry. He didn't even said 'hi' and simply dropped the bomb.

"Guys, I need your help. I'm gay and my mother doesn't give a shit".

Everybody kept playing like it was nothing. They vaguely looked at him when he came in.

"I said: I'm gay! That doesn't surprise you?"

"We already knew it", they said.

"Don't lie! Your concept of me has drastically changed with this revelation!"

"Stop screaming, fat-ass. You don't let us to concentrate", Kyle rapped out.

"Shut up, you jewish fa-... dork! You don't know how it feels! This retrograde society doesn't let gay live in peace. No matter where we go, people point at us".

"How much time do you have outside closet?"

"Ten minutes".

"And how many people had already judge you since that?", consulted Stan.

"I-in fact... My mother just doesn't accept it, ok?"

"What?"

"She's in deny. She says that it was obvious and she's glad for me, but she must be in the church asking for a priest's help right now".

"Or giving him an special service", joked Kenny.

"Shut your mouth! You're poor!"

"You're gay".

"Yes! Do you have a problem with that?!"

"Haven't you thought that maybe your mother really knew it and she was just waiting for you to confess?", the ginger asked.

"It's not that easy!"

"We found out already and she lives with you. Why wouldn't she knew it?"

"Anyway, think what you want. The point is that I want to know if you guys still want to be my friends or no. What do you think about it?"

"We're glad for you", they answered.

"Glad for me? That's all? Don't you think that's gross?"

"If we thought that, we wouldn't be your friends since a lot of years ago", Stan commented.

"I'm not that obvious!"

"Of course you are", smiled the blond.

"That means that you jerked off in front of me a year ago knowing that I were gay, you fag!"

"I didn't jerked off in front of you. I jerked off watching lesbian porn with a friend, and that's totally normal. You decided what interesed you more: the movie or me".

"You know what, guys? You tired me! I won't stay so you could keep bothering me because of my sexual orientation. If you can't accept me, then fuck you".

"But we said that we accept you, fat-ass", Kyle pointed out.

"Shut up, jew! You act too indifferent for being heterosexual. You're gay too! The three of you are gay and that's because you didn't make an scene! But, you know what? We don't have nothing to be shamed of. We're not freaks and I won't let that motherfuckers make us think that!"

"We're not gay", they said.

"Stop discriminate me! You won't say anything? Screw you, you fags! I'm an anormal minority, and I'm pround about that. Clear? I'm going to somewhere where people remind me that I'm sick, like it should be. Fuck you, you stupid homphobics!", he showed his middle finger and got out.

The boys kept playing videogames.

* * *

**Well, that's all for now. This fic have already four chapters in the spanish section, so I won't take too much time for translate the next one. Your reviews are valorated. Thanks for reading :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Before this chapter, I want to say "Thank you" to Cster, who help me to edit it and correct all the grammar mistakes. I really apreciate that. (She didn't edited this introduction, so all the spellings mistakes are my fault). So, I hope you guys like it ^_^**

* * *

"This is unacceptable, Butters! Fucking unacceptable!", he complained, as he walked from one side of his room to another.

"I-I don't get what you were waiting for, E-Eric", he answered while sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know. Religious fanatics chasing me with torches, girls committing mass suicide, anything but this. Who the hell do they think they are to not get involved in my life?"

"I t-think you should be happy. A l-lot of boys are afraid of coming out because..."

"Because they're fucking fags!"

"Shouldn't that word offend you now?"

"What? 'Fucking'? Why should it offend me? I'm not a fag".

"I-I was talking about 'fag'".

"Are you calling me a fag?!"

"N-no! Not at all! I..."

"Argh! What do I have to do to be told I'm weird? Say I'm weird, Butters!"

"Y-you're weird, Eric".

"Shut up, Butters! I was born this way and I have nothing to be ashamed about! Clear?!"

"Y-yes. I'm sorry".

"Damn, homophobes like you makes me sick. Anyway, we can't just take it. I wonder if there's other fag in South Park. We could become a union and think what we all could do together".

"C-can I ask you why does it bother you so much that nobody discriminates against you?"

"Because everyone is like: 'Oh, it is just Cartman, who the hell cares about him being gay? That doesn't change our livess. It's not like that stupid fat guy was someone special', and I can't stand it".

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't know you thought that we didn't care about you", he stood up and tried to give him a hug.

"Don't touch me, fag!", he recoiled, backing away from Butters. "You made it sound like I was sobbing or something like that".

"Forgive me".

"Well, I already know what we will do. We'll fill the school with posters, inviting every gay to come here Saturday. Then, when we're all together, we'll find a solution for this problem".

"P-problem? What problem?"

"That I like dicks and nobody cares about it, you douchebag!"

* * *

And Saturday came. Apparently, there weren't too many gays in the school. Just three people showed up in Cartman's basement. Craig, Tweek and Butters (who wasn't even gay and had a girlfriend, but he was obliged, in the most literal meaning of the word, to be there for his friend).

"Very well, ladies and half-gentlemen...", the host started.

"There's no ladies here, fat-ass", Craig corrected, reluctantly.

"Ok, Mr. Smart-ass, we'll start again. Welcome to the first union meeting of..."

"W-w-what if Cartman isn't really gay and he... he... -gah- w-wants us to give him e-e-evidence of us being gay, so he c-cou-could humiliate us", stuttered Tweek, without any control whatsoever of his nervous tics.

"Please, that's the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard. Let's continue..."

"T-that sounds li-like something t-t-that.. -gah- a blackmailer wo-would say, so p-p-people will fall i-i-into his tr-trap".

"Tweek, if you don't shut up and stop those whiny little noises, I swear I'm going to rip off your balls with my own hands! Stop interrupting me!"

"H-he's threatening me... I'm afraid, Craig". He hugged his boyfriend.

"Well done, you idiot. You made my Tweek cry", Craig said reproachfully.

"I didn't do anything! I just started talking!", Cartman complained.

"Then talk faster, because we have to go soon. We don't have all the time in the world".

"Ok. I joined you guys here to talk to you about a vital issue".

"Get to the point, you pig".

"Just shut up! Well, I hope I'm not the only one who is indignant concerning the unfair treatment we're getting. Homophobes are becoming extinct, they're totally ignoring us".

"You did all this shit because you would prefer people to discriminate against us? You're a jerk".

"It's not that! It's about our minority rights. Now those motherfuckers feels like they're too important to judge us because of something so personal and variable like sexual orientation? I say 'Stop' to the negligence that we're experiencing!"

"Let's go, Tweek. We don't have to keep listening to this asshole". Craig stood up.

"Wait, you haven't heard my plan". Cartman tried desperately to maintain the group's attention.

"What plan?"

"This plan", he set down the white projector screen, turned it up, and began using a pointer to follow along with his presentation. This text then appeared onscreen "Kill all the straight people on the planet: phase one. This phase consists of..."

"That doesn't makes any sense! You can't kill all the straight people". Craig stated.

"Prove it".

"Even if you could, it would ultimately be stupid. The human race would die out because no one would be reproducing".

"According to the evolution theory established by Charles Darwin..."

"I don't give a shit about it. We're going, you couldn't be more pathetic", he took Tweek's arm and practically dragged him out.

"Who needs them? I bet they're camouflaged homophobes. Well looks like it's just us this time, Butters".

"I-in fact, Eric, I should go too. I've just remembered that my parents are having guests and they want me to be home before they arrive. S-see you tomorrow", announced the blond, and walked off.

"Yes, flee, you coward! Go away like your kind, cowardly fag! I'm sure you have lots of mats to suck, you dumb-ass!"

A few minutes later, when Cartman was already resigned to the fact that no one else was coming and that his idea was silly, the doorbell rang. He ran to open the main door, and he couldn't believe what he was seeing. Kyle was standing outside of his house.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came because..."

"Don't tell me that you... What's the catch?"

"There's not a catch".

"I know perfectly that you're not like that, so you have five seconds to move your straight ass out of my sight".

"But I..."

"Five..."

"I'm really..."

"Four..."

"Listen to me".

"Three..."

"Ok, I'll go! I shouldn't have come, it was a stupid impulse. Just, please, don't tell anybody I showed up here today. See you later", he turned around and walked a bit.

"Wait".

"Yeah?", Kyle stopped and turned around again.

"Really? You're not straight?"

"Mhm", he nodded.

"Since when?"

"I don't know".

"Because of who? Who could make the perfect model child Kyle Broflovski gay?"

"Because of no one".

"Stan?"

"No, gross! He's like my brother!"

"Then who?"

"No one specific, I've just realized that I was attracted to boys. Any more questions?"

"No".

"Cartman, you can't tell anyone about this. If my parents hear of it, they'll..."

"Calm down. I won't tell anybody. But what do I get in return for keeping your secret?"

"My unhappiness? You'll still know something very secretive about me you potentially could use in the future to your advantage."

"Mmm... It's not a bad offer, but..."

"Cartman!"

"Relax, I don't give a fuck about what you do with your ass".

"I'm not exactly.. "

"Well, with your cock. The thing is that I don't care. Are you here for the union meeting?"

"Yes".

"Come in".

The two went down to the basement.

"Nobody's here", Kyle commented, sitting on a chair.

"Everybody left. It seems like my plan is not so good for them".

"Your plan?"

"Yes. My plan to exterminate all the straights".

"Straights are your new Jews now?"

"Come on, Kyeeel, you know that nothing could take the, greedy plague that is your people's place". He said in a creepy, almost endearing tone.

"I'm glad we're not your only target then. Let's see, tell me about your plan. I want to hear it", Kyle leaned against the back of the chair, crossing his arms and smiling.

And that's what Cartman did. He told him everything about it. Even the small and negligible details that he had thought up just so some smartass could ask about them. When he ended, Kyle was about die of laughter.

"You're a... You're a... God, Cartman, you're such an asshole!", he could not stop laughing.

"Cool, no?"

"It's the stupidest thing that I've ever heard, but it's too funny. You say that evolution will cause men to become pregnant and give birth? You're a piece of..."

"Hey, it's not that impossible", he replied, but Cartman also sounded amused.

"Yes, it is! Holy shit. Have you always been so... you?"

"I don't know what 'be so me' means, but I guess that would be a yes".

"Well, I needed a good laugh. It's been forever since I've heard something that entertaining".

Then, Cartman discovered that hearing Kyle's laugh made him feel strangely comfortable. But, eventually, his friend had to go. When he accompanied him to the door so they could say goodbye, he felt the weird sensation that, maybe, he could invite him to come over again. Without Stan and Kenny, of course. They were too straight for his tastes now anyway.

"Um, do you want to... come back tomorrow?", he asked, timidly.

"Just if you promise me that you'll have a new strategy for killing all the straight people", Kyle joked.

"I guess I could think of something...", he joked back.

"Sounds good. Hey, thanks for keeping my secret... You'll keep my secret, won't you?"

"I've practically already forgotten it. Telling your parents that your penis likes hitting other guys' prostates would be too easy. I like to think of more farfetched and twisted ways to make you miserable".

"How considerate", he rolled his eyes.

"I do what I can", Cartman shrugged.

"It seems like... I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Mhm. See you then".

"Ok". He nearly walked away. "Oh, and Cartman..."

"What?"

"You're weird, fat-ass", he smiled.

"You too, Jew. You too..."

* * *

**Well, that's all. Reviews are always welcomed. So, thanks for reading. Bye :3**


	3. Chapter 3

Kyle continued going to Cartman's house everyday after school. He started to like spending time with him, because now Cartman was so busy feeling discriminated against because nobody discriminated against him, that he all but forgot to discriminate against Kyle for being Jewish. He still called him a Jew, but it was more out of habit than out of any real malice. It was amazing how well they were getting along. There was a downside to hanging out with Cartman so much however. Everytime Stan wanted to meet Kyle after class, Kyle always had to think of an excuse, and soon enough, his friend started to suspect something was amiss.

"Ky, do you want to come to my place to play videogames today?" Stan asked, as they picked up their things after the last bell rang and everyone else had left the classroom.

"Eh... I can't Stan", Kyle answered.

"You never can lately."

"I have lots of homework to do." Kyle responded evenly.

"We're in the same group, and I'm sure we don't have that much homework. I'm not exactly a slacker you know."

"You know how my mother is. She always wants me to study more than I actually need to."

"But, even so, she'd never..."

"Well, she's like this now. So, I don't think I can go to your house today."

"When do you think we can hang out then?"

"We see each other everyday Stan".

"That's during school though Kyle. We're supposed to be best friends..."

"Stan, please. I have to go. Can we talk about this later?"

"Ok", he gave up.

Kyle didn't feel good about lying to Stan. He felt really bad about it. What was the point? What was the horrible thing that he was doing and he couldn't tell someone who was practically his brother about? Nothing. Nothing at all. But he was hiding things anyway.

* * *

"I don't get it", Kyle said between laughs, rocking in his chair a bit.

"What don't you get, Jew?", Cartman asked, a little angry because it was obvious that Kyle didn't take his plans seriously, and was having fun at his expense.

"How the hell will you know if the newborn babies are going to be straight or not? Isn't there a possibility of you killing future gays without knowing it?"

"There are scientists who thinks that what determines whether someone becomes a fag or not comes from the genes. We just have to learn how to distinguish them."

"We? Leave me out of this nonsense."

"You got yourself into it! You shouldn't have asked me to share my knowledge with you if you don't think..."

"I did it to make fun of you. I thought you already knew that."

"Of course I do. It's just that... Butters, that fucking clam-eater, doesn't listen to me anymore. I bet he thinks he's so cool because he doesn't play along with me, and he prefers going to gut pussies with his cock. It's like, unconsciously, he's discriminating against me, do you understand? That moron doesn't even discriminate against me openly, like I want."

"Butters is still your friend. Even though Stan and I don't hang around as much as before..."

"Because you two are fags!"

"Stan has been dating Wendy for years, and you're only a fag like me."

"Anyway, I don't care. I don't need Butters spreading his blissful and natural heterosexuality all around MY house. Do you know why? Because I have you, fucking Jew. Two fags against the world'".

"I still think everything you say is crap, and I already told you that if you tell someone about me being gay, you'll be dead."

"What? You gonna kill me like you killed Jesus Christ?"

"I didn't kill Jesus Christ!"

"Read a fucking history book about the Christians!"

"Read a book about the Holocaust, fucking Nazi!"

"Your people were practically asking for it!"

"I have had enough! I'm leaving! And, you know what? Hitler hated gays too!" he stood up from his seat and went to the basement stairs ready to walk out.

"Wait, don't go."

"What?" Kyle stopped walking and looked at him.

"No more jokes about your species' history. I promise."

"My species? We aren't aliens, you know."

"You got my point"

"I always have to forgive you. You say terribly insensitive things, you pretend that you didn't know it was insensitive and I always eventually forgive everything. If I recall correctly, that's our friendship's basis."

"I didn't apologize."

"That is what I just said. You never have."

"And I'm not starting now." Cartman interjected stubbornly.

"See you later then."

"Do you want me to apologize?"

"That would be nice".

"I'm sorry, Je-... Kyle."

"God, you really must feel alone to ask me for forgiveness," he walked away from the stairs.

"I'm not alone."

"I never said that you were alone. I said you feel alone."

"It's not like that."

"If you say so..."

"Do you want to go upstairs to watch TV? I'm bored of all this shit."

"Ok. But I'm going to choose the channel."

"Don't you dare make me watch Family Guy, fag."

"I'm gonna make you suck my dick if you don't shut up", he started to go upstairs, but he turned around when he realized that Cartman wasn't following him. "Aren't you coming?"

"Eh...", Cartman looked frozen and his eyes were wide open in shock.

"I was kidding, Cartman."

"I know! I was just..."

"See you upstairs", Kyle left the basement.

"Hey, wait for me", he quickly followed Kyle.

* * *

"I can't believe that you're making me watch this shit", he leaned against the back of the couch, crossing his arms.  
"It's funny", Kyle answered, cranking up the TV volume.

"Oh, yeah, a raped strawberry. How witty".

"Calm down, you humor genius".

"I AM practically a humor genius. But, of course, since you don't allow me to make jokes about the Holocaust, I don't seem so funny."

"Those types of jokes aren't funny."

"And a strawberry being raped is funny?"

"Yes."

"You're weird, Jew."

"All of this is weird."

"All of what is weird?"

"I'm in your house, watching TV with you, without Stan and Kenny around, and both of us are still alive."

"You're right. This is so odd."

"And this makes me worry."

"What makes you worry?"

"That we don't hate each other so much anymore. I do think that you're an asshole, and I know that I should hate you, but I'm starting to like you. Not very much, though."

"I'm starting to like you, too. Not very much either though. I guess you're a nice guy... for a Jew".

"Was that a compliment?"

"Not even in your most perverted dreams, fag."

"Maybe we never really hated each other. It's possible even that we understood each other. I mean, one way or another, we should have become 'friends'. But we were so young, that we don't realize it, and then, we drifted apart."

"I'm sure it was because of your bitch of a mother."

"What does my mother have to do with it?!"

"Please, she despises my mom because... Because my mom has the job that she has, and that fat bitch despises me because I have no father, since before I started to despise you for being Jewish and ginger."

"My mom despises you because you're a fucking Nazi!" Kyle defended.

"If you say so. Do you want to call a truce?"

"I don't know if I can trust you."

"If you couldn't, everybody would know that you're gay already."

"Good point. Ok, let's call a truce."

"But I'll continue insulting you all the time."

"Then, what's the point?"

"Uh... It was a stupid idea."

"No, it wasn't."

"Friends? I mean, true friends?"

"True friends." Kyle affirmed.

"Anyway, I won't completely stop insulting you, Jew."

"Fuck you, fat-ass", Kyle laughed.

* * *

"Kyle, can you come to my place after classes today?" Stan asked, while he choose a book from the library's shelf.

"Not today", Kyle answered.

"Again? What's happening?"

"My mother wants me to help her with..."

"I already know the truth."

"The truth about what?"

"You don't have too much homework and your mother lets you go out. I went to your house yesterday because I wanted to study with you, and your mother told me you weren't there."

"Stan..."

"And I know perfectly well where you have been lately."

"I..."

"I just want you to tell me a single thing, sincerely."

"Go ahead", the ginger gave him permission to continue, resigned to the fact that he had no more excuses.

"Do you still want us to be friends, or have you completely replaced me for Cartman?"

"Of course I want us to stay friends! I would never replace you for anyone! And, certainly, I would never replace you for..."

"So, why did you lie about it? Why?"

"I thought that you..."

"That I would get angry? Kyle, we have always been like brothers, but that doesn't mean that I'll hate you if you want to be around other people. And it's not like we're talking about someone that we haven't known since kindergarten anyway."

"But we're always together! The four of us! I didn't wanted it to look like..."

"Cartman is blackmailing you? That's why you couldn't tell me about it?"

"Not at all. I think that, for the first time in years, he's being truly nice."

"And what's the matter? I mean, do you like him like that or what?"

"Don't say stupid things! Gross!"

"But it looks like it! Because, God, I don't see any other reason why you wouldn't tell me that you like spending time with him. He isn't hurting you, right?"

"He isn't."

"Well, why so much drama? It doesn't bothers me that you hang out with people besides me. I just hate being lied to, especially by you."

"I know." There was no weaseling his way out of this one and Kyle knew it.

"I still can't understand why you needed to excuse yourself. You can tell me anything you want and I will accept you regardless."

"That's what you think...", he whispered, more to himself than to Stan.

"I was just worried. How would you feel if you found out that your best friend is spending time with his supposed worst enemy? I assumed the worst."

"I didn't mean to worry you. I just didn't want you to be angry with me."

"How do you figure I wouldn't get angry? I thought we knew everything about each other, and now, I found out that you were giving me excuses for not hanging out with me, like you were doing something illegal. I thought we trusted each other. I thought we didn't have any secrets. There aren't anymore secrets are there?"

"Of course there aren't", he lied.

"I don't know if I can trust you anymore. It seems so silly. You may think it isn't that bad, and maybe you're right, but I feel like we're becoming strangers. I'm afraid we'll become those kinds of childhood friends. I'm afraid we'll start to think that seeing each other in school is an obligation, and we'll be strangers to each other. Or even worse, the classic friends who become resentful who hate each other for reasons that they don't even remember. Or over a stupid fight, like this one."

"I don't want that to happen either. I'm sorry, I didn't... I didn't want you to think that I was replacing you for another person."

"I wouldn't think that, do you? Do you feel that you're doing that?"

"N-no..."

Now Kyle really was being honest. Because he liked spending time with Cartman. But it wasn't the same with Stan. With Stan, he had an absolutely undeniable friendship. It wasn't like he wasn't sure whether he was Cartman's friend too. But that was different. Unexplainable and suddenly different. Their trust was growing more and more, without thm instantly noticing it. But, deep down, it was the most obvious thing in the universe. Stan wasn't replaceable, because the two feelings weren't comparable. And that was, unconsciously disturbing that he could feel two completely different ways for his two friends.

"Well, everything is said. You can hang out with anyone you want, I don't care. But remember that I prefer you to tell me the truth and not make excuses. I don't need them. I'm your best friend, not your teacher or your mother."

"Ok. Forgive me."

"Don't worry, just don't do it anymore." Stan smiled widely and Kyle smiled back at him.

"Perfect."

They hugged quickly, and the raven went to ask to the librarian to check some books out. Kyle felt really bad for avoiding him like that. Their friendship wasn't an obligation, and Stan wasn't angry about him having other friends. So, what was the problem? Although the thing that worried him the most, was that Stan thought that they didn't have secrets. And there was a big secret. Even if Cartman could understand him because he was gay too, it wasn't an explanation of why Kyle felt comfortable enough to tell him about it, and not to tell his super best friend/brother. He wasn't scared about the rejection, anyway. He was afraid of his mother. And, obviously, there were more possibilities of Cartman spreading the gossip than Stan doing it. Was his perception of who can keep a secret and who not so erroneous? What were the chances of his best friend not accepting him? If Stan didn't care about Cartman being gay, he wouldn't abandon Kyle for the same thing. That didn't make any sense. Not at all. But the silence hurt him deeply.

* * *

**Well, that's all for now. I want to say thanks to Cster again, for edit this chapter. And thank you guys for follow this story. Love you!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Why don't you just admit that you like penises?" Cartman asked, being absolutely honest.

They were lying on the floor of Eric's bedroom, looking at the roof. Cartman was on the twentieth attempt to figure out what the bearing was on his hand, and Kyle was trying to concentrate on his history book.

"It's not that simple", Kyle answered, offended because, knowing his situation in Kyle's home, Cartman still had the audacity to ask why he hadn't come out, made him feel grossly misunderstood.

"It's really simple."

"It's simple for you. You were so obvious. If you hadn't found out, I'm sure someone would tell you that you were gay."

"Hey, it wasn't that obvious."

"Cartman, even as a kid, your mouth had more dicks in it that Sasha Grey's mouth."

"That's not true!"

"Yes, it is."

"Give me an example."

"The sea-men. You sucked a stranger's cock."

"Hey, I didn't knew what I was doing! That guy told me to close my eyes and open my mouth. He told me that I was sucking a hose. That doesn't count."

"Of course that counts."

"No. Also, you sucked my balls."

"I didn't suck them, you just imagined it. Another reason to come to the conclusion that you're gay."

"Ok. Maybe it was a little bit obvious. But don't change the topic. You should just admit that you're attracted to boys. Life without secrets is great."

"It's easy for you. Nobody would bother someone who killed his own father and fed it to his brother as chili."

"They'd be stupid if they did do that. Even so, I would prefer that. It's much more simpler that way."

"Why? Don't you see that people who can't come out want to punch you when you talk like that? You don't know what being afraid of rejection feels like."

"You don't know me, Jew."

"Eh?"

"Nothing."

"Well, we're supposed to be studying. Leave that thing alone." He took the bearing off of his friend's hand.

"You want to kill me with boredom?"

"I would kill you with anything right now. We have a test, fat-ass. A test which is worth a quarter of our final grade. Don't you care about that?"

"But I don't need to study..."

"You always say that, and you always get mediocre grades."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. A+"

"I always get A+ because I study, you should try that."

"God, your bitch mother has brainwashed you."

"Stop calling her a bitch. She didn't brainwash me. I like to get high grades and I work for that. Of course you have to give up a little bit of your free time, but..."

"A little bit? But if you're spend all day long being a library rat, then what's the use? That jailer bitch barely lets you go outside."

"Barely lets me go out? She lets me come to your house everyday."

"Because you tell her that you're taking more classes or that you're in your hippie boyfriend's house."

"Stan isn't my boyfriend. He's not even gay."

"But you'd like him being gay, wouldn't you?"

"No. He's like my brother. He's my best friend."

"I thought that I was your best friend."

"You? Cartman, really?", he laughed.

"You spend more time with me than with him. You hide things from him that you don't hide from me. Things that I haven't published in newpapers yet, in case you didn't already know."

"Fat-ass, you can't repair a life of humiliations in a few days. A few days in which you didn't stop insulting me, in case you needed reminding."

"I thought we were friends now."

"Of course we are. But we're not best friends. We never will be for that matter."

"Why not?", Cartman sounded sad suddenly, even though he tried to hide it.

"Because we just aren't. Stop avoiding the subject. You kinda sound like you care about it."

"I don't!"

"Fine, let's study."

"Ok."

Kyle was surprised. From saying 'I don't need study', Cartman had paused to take a book, open it and start to read. Maybe Kyle should think more about the things that he said. However, Cartman probably wasn't really affected by it. They weren't best friends that was obvious. Why was that a problem? Kyle tried to focus on the reading, and when he achieved his concentration, his phone rang. He stood up and walked out of Cartman's room to speak.

"Hello?", he said, pushing the green button and bringing the phone against his ear.

"Kyle, where you are?", Sheila's voice sounded on the other side.

"I'm at a friend's house."

"Which friend?"

"Cartman." He decided to be honest, because if his mother was calling him, she probably already knew he wasn't in any of the places where he always said that he spends his time.

"Eric Cartman?"

"Of course."

"I don't like the fact that you're with him. You know about his opinion about Jews..."

"He's more quiet about that lately."

"Also, people are saying... things about him..."

"What kind of things?"

"He's the kind of boy that like-likes other boys."

"What is the matter with him being gay?"

"Don't start that discussion again! We're men and women, Kyle, and there's a reason for that. I'm worried that he might be giving you weird ideas."

"What do you mean by 'weird ideas'?"

"You know what I'm talking about. And I hope you know that, just because a friend of yours is confused, that doesn't mean that you have to be confused too. When someone gets a cold, do you respect their decision to go through life always coughing and blowing their nose? No. You try to make them understand that they have to cure themselves, and you go away so you won't catch a cold too."

"You can't compare homosexuality with a cold."

"What? Are you another one of those modern liberal boys who think that they can go against nature?" Her tone changed to one stronger and more aggressive.

"And what if I am?!" He found out that he was screaming, so he tried to calm down before he kept talking. "Seriously, mom, I'm worried about your retrograde way of thinking. What would you do if I was gay? I really want to know. Explain it to me, please, because I can't understand you."

"To be honest, I'm glad you're not that, because I don't want to have one less son."

"Oh, so you would kill me."

"I wouldn't kill you. Of course not. But you'd be dead to me."

"Dead to you?!"

"What else would you think would happen?! If you would insist to being against the natural laws of the world, it should be obvious that I wouldn't let you contaminate my life as well."

"All the things you say are stupid, mom! That's unfair, insensitive, and very closed-minded." He didn't care about being noticeably angry.

"Don't talk to me like that, young man! I want you to come home right now. I need to have a really serious talk with you. You have ten minutes to be here, and if you delay one second, you'll have to answer to your father when he's in home."

"I'll be there!". He hung up.

Kyle stayed there, alone and silent. Suddenly, the door behind him opened, and Cartman came out. His expression wasn't mocking or sarcastic. He nearly looked distressed and empathic, because he'd heard all the conversation. Kyle couldn't take it anymore. The emotional situation was so bad, that he couldn't hold back the tears. He hugged his friend, hiding his face in Cartman's shoulder.

"Jew...", Cartman started, but he didn't know what to say.

"Shut up. Please, just shut up", Kyle sobbed.

"Ok."

A few seconds after they broke away Cartman asked Kyle if he wanted him to take him home, getting a "No, thank you" in response.

* * *

Kyle had been standing for a while in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at the red mark in the shape of a handprint forming slowly on his cheek. He pressed his fingertips against it watching it become white and pretend that all was okay, but when he stopped it became crimson again. It hurt. It had been on his face for an hour, and it didn't seem to have any intentions of disappearing. It burned. He wanted to open the medicine cabinet and take some cream to alleviate it, but he was afraid that, being so sad, some pill bottle could tempt him to do something stupid.

His parents' screaming was deafening. When Gerald appeared, he saw Kyle on the couch, with his head down, and Sheila insulting him. He asked him to go upstairs and let him talk with his mother, and then, it was just a big argument. Kyle could hear them talking about topics that didn't have anything to do with the problem, reproaching each other about things that happened years ago. Things they probably wouldn't remember in normal circumstances.

He heard someone knocking on the bathroom door, and got scared. But he calmed down when he saw his little brother leaning in slowly.

"Can I come in?", Ike consulted.

"Of course", he answered.

"Thanks." He entered and sat down on the toilet lid. "Do you think that mom and dad are getting divorced?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Why is mom so angry with you?"

"Because I have a gay friend."

"What's so wrong about that?"

"Nothing. That's what I want her to understand."

"Can you imagine if one of us were gay? She would get so mad."

"Yeah."

"She hit you really hard. Does it hurts?"

"It really hurts."

"I never thought that mom would hit one of us."

"Me neither."

"You don't want to talk about it, do you?" He stood up, petting his brother's shoulder.

"I would prefer not to talk about it."

"I get it. Even so, would you get worse if I stayed here?"

"You can stay ever how long you want."

"Thanks again."

"You're welcome."

They held each other, and then they heard a door slamming. Then, fast steps on the stairs, and someone knocking harshly on the door. Ike tried to hide behind Kyle. Sheila entered without waiting for an answer. She looked calmer. Furious, of course, but less violent.

"Your father won't be sleeping here tonight. Go to your rooms. The two of you are going to be punished.", she expressed, her voice low and monotone.

"Am I being punished too? Why? Kyle was...", the smaller of them tried to excuse himself.

"When I give you an order, you take it. Obey or it'll get worse."

"But I..."

"You better do what she wants...", the ginger warned him, and they both went to their respective rooms.

* * *

The night was quiet and taciturn. Really dark. Kyle couldn't even see the car's lights on the street. He was trying to sleep, but he couldn't. His mother was scary, that wasn't new, but she had never hit him before. He wouldn't have thought that she would hit him. Now he was really scared. He saw his phone on his night table, and without thinking too much, he took it, hiding under his sheets. He thought about calling Stan, because he wanted to talk with somebody, but he reasoned that Stan's parents would hear the phone ring and he would get in trouble. Kyle had to call somebody who was alone in their house. And Cartman was the first person who crossed his mind. He dialed the number and waited, feeling anxious and desperate to get an answer.

"What do you want, Jew?", a tired voice questioned.

"I want to talk to you", Kyle admitted.

"At this hour?"

"I couldn't wait to call you. I need to talk right now."

"What happened with your bitch of a mother?"

"She hit me. My mom hit me."

"Eh?!"

"It started with a small discussion, five minutes later she was calling me 'nature's abomination like my friend'. And after ten minutes, she slapped my face. It still hurts", he couldn't hold back the tears. Great, now I'm crying twice in front of Cartman, all in one day too.

"That bitch..."

"Dad tried to defend me when he came in, but they fought and now he won't sleep here tonight."

"Fuck, so much drama."

"I'm trembling with fear, literally."

"Hey, calm down. Take deep breaths."

"I can't. I feel really bad. Worse than ever."

"Try to focus on another thing."

"It's impossible. I'm beginning to think that she's right."

"She's not! Kahl, for god's sake, she's just trying to brainwash you, like I said earlier."

"I don't know what to believe anymore."

"If there's something that I've learned from being a total manipulator, it is that you can only believe in yourself."

"It's so difficult."

"You'll have to do it. But now you need to calm down."

"I wish you were here."

"I know how to get up to your room. It's cold outside, but I can ask Butters for help and..."

"No. You don't need to do that. Really. It's just that..."

"Just that what?"

"When you held me today... Somehow I felt better. I've almost forgotten why I was sad."

"Well, I guess that..."

"If you were here, would you hold me?"

"Uh, if you want that... By the way... You'll think that I'm sick, but when we did that... I'm talking about holding each other..."

"Yeah?"

"I might have wanted to... take off your hat and pet your hair."

"B-but you hate my hair."

"I don't. Not at all. I just say that I hate it to piss you off. The truth is that I like it."

"What else?"

"Eh?"

"I guess you said that if you were here, you would hold me and take my hat off. What more?"

"I don't know..."

"Would you kiss me?"

"E-excuse me?"

"Forget it. I shouldn't said that, it was really faggy. Sorry."

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"I would do it. I would kiss you. Very softly and slowly."

"With tongue?"

"Mhm."

"And then?"

"I would kiss your neck too."

"Great."

"And I would take off your t-shirt."

"Then?"

"Then I... What the hell are we doing?"

"I thought you already knew it."

"Maybe we shouldn't do this."

"But it feels right."

"Uh-huh...", he panted a bit.

"A-are you touching yourself?"

"Eh... No... I don't..."

"I hope, for your own good, you're not lying."

"Ok, I'm touching myself."

"I see..." His hand slipped down to his low region before he could even stop it. Before he could even want to stop it.

"And you?"

"I'm doing it now. Above clothing."

"Can't you take your pants off?"

"I'm not wearing pants."

"Ok, your underwear." Kyle could almost see him rolling his eyes.

"If you insist...". He couldn't understand what the hell he was doing at 3 AM, talking on the phone with Cartman and obeying an order like that.

"You did it?"

"Yeah."

"I really wish I was there."

"Me too."

"So I could help you with that."

"That would be great."

"And you could help me too..."

"That's true."

"Would you do that, Kahl? Would you help me?"

"Uh-huh..."

Kyle swallowed, and stayed in silence for a while.

"Are you still there?"

"Sorry, I was thinking."

"About me?"

Fuck, why did he have to be that egocentric in that fucking moment? He was ruining it all.

"About Stan", Kyle smiled.

"You liar... Argh, shit."

"Are you close?"

"I'm in my house?"

"I didn't mean that, idiot. I mean if... You're close. You know."

"Ah, I get it now. Yes, I'm close. How about you?"

"I'm close too. How close are you?"

"So fucking close."

"Want me inside?", he said it without thinking and immediately he put his hand to his mouth, forgetting where it was a moment ago.

He didn't get an answer. Not even a gasp. He fucked it all up. He shouldn't have said that. What the hell was he waiting for? A 'yeah, Jew. I want your circumcised cock in my ass'? He played too much with his luck. Now he was totally resigned, he didn't have anything left to do but wait for the dial tone and maybe a report for sexual molestation the next day. But suddenly...

"G-go ahead."

"What did you say?", Kyle asked astonished. He didn't expect that.

"If you want to do it, go ahead." Cartman sounded ashamed of having to explain something that obvious.

"Are you kidding me?"

"I'm not, you fag! Stick it in me now!", he screamed.

"Well... I'm entering... I think...", Kyle said, feeling really stupid telling someone who wasn't there that he was doing that. The rational part of his brain was warning him that Cartman probably was recording the conversation to blackmail him with it. However, he remembered that, the one who was calling the other this late, was himself. Cartman couldn't have predicted that and thought about a prank in which he would be equally incriminated. Kyle cleared his mind and tried to listen to his body. His hand lowered again. In the morning he'll have time to regret it.

"I can't feel it... It's... too... small...", Cartman sneered, moaning sarcastically.

"Fuck you, Cartman! Why did you have to kill the mood like that?!"

"Sorry, sorry. I couldn't avoid it", he laughed. "Continue."

"I'm entering..."

"Mhm..."

"Just a little more..."

"Fucking hurry up!", he suddenly sounded so desperate.

"I'm trying to go slow..."

"I don't care if it hurts! I want it!"

"I'm inside you! Fuck, Cartman, I'm inside you!", Kyle started to hump the air unconsciously.

"I know! I want more..."

"D-do you feel me?"

"I feel you... Shit, I feel you too much! I feel you everywhere!"

"Me too! Damn, I'm going to... I think I'm going to..."

"Do it already! I love... I love this... I love you being inside me..."

"R-really?"

"What do you think?! I... I'm going to..."

"Hurry up, I can't take it anymore."

"I... I..."

"I love you, Cartman!"

Kyle exploded. And the sound coming from the line, told him that the person that was on the other side exploded too. The silence occurred again. He waited for his breathing to return to normal, but he knew it was going to take time. He wasn't used to this. He had touched himself before, like every teen, but he'd never experienced a real orgasm. However, he saw it happen. Even though he didn't have an idea of how it felt, he knew he was going to cum. It sounded really ridiculous, but it had developed in such a natural and flowing way, that he'd even thought that his birth and whole life had been for this sole purpose, as if he was only in this world for the purpose of experiencing this moment. The climax tiredness made him let the phone go, and now it lay on the mattress, by his side. He took it and put it against his ear again.

"That was amazing, Jew", Cartman said.

"Yeah. It was", he just hoped that his friend hadn't noticed the last phrase.

"I have to go to sleep now. I'm tired and we have school tomorrow."

"I have to sleep too. I guess we'll talki later."

"Good night."

"Good night for you."

Kyle hung up. It was over. He knew they couldn't look at each other the next morning without feeling ashamed, they couldn't ask for more and this little 'hormonal crash' would become a big pile of dust under the carpet. But it didn't matter. Because that short time lapse, in which they stopped being enemies and made love without even touching each other, had transpired. And it was the most perfect thing in the universe. He had to clean and prepare himself psychologically to do nothing that could make his mother suspect, but he was too exhausted. Then he remembered that he had spent a while saying dirty things using who-knows what level of volume, and basically he had screamed the last minutes. Sheila could have heard perfectly. He prefered to think that she couldn't, because if she actually did, she would be knocking at his room's door already. He had to sleep and try to forget everything. There wasn't any other option. He left his phone on the table, and slept.

* * *

The next morning, he woke up early. He could have slept another hour more. But he remembered something. His phone calls' history. His mother probably would check it. She had shown that she didn't care about his privacy before. If she found out that he had talked with Eric that late, she would think the worst. Even though she was right if she did it. He took the phone, went to the menu and then to the call log. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. The box was empty. He hadn't made a call last night. He didn't had phone sex with Cartman. It had been just a dream. A fucking weird dream.

**Thanks for reading and, like I always say: Thanks, Cster, for edit it. Hope you guys liked it ^_^**


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